I went shopping with my mom today at the commissary for my dad’s birthday. The section we were at was of course right next to the baby section which already was upsetting. So, after going through everything we met my dad and like always people start talking to him.
They start talking about the Marine Corps and it ends up in a conversation about family. Dad was asked how many grandkids he had and he said 4. Which instantly made me start to tear up. I have five kids. My sister has one. That means you have six grandkids. It’s not like he did it to purposely hurt my feelings, I don’t think it even registered to be honest.
When he saw me crying he instantly asked what was wrong and gave me a huge hug. My poor dad felt awful, it’s not that I’m mad at him. It’s just my feelings where hurt. He has such a huge heart and wouldn’t ever hurt anyone on purpose. He instantly apologized and hugged me. Which was nice and made me feel a little better.
I just hate that everything makes me cry , I’m so damn sensitive it’s awful. My anxiety isn’t as bad as it’s been, someone asked me how old Taylinn was and I didn’t have a panic attack. That was a good thing, right? I seem to always have my hand on the necklace the boys are in though. I feel like it gives me strength.
I wish I wasn’t so sensitive. I wish I saw things how others did. I wish it wasn’t so hard. I’m just so damn sensitive. I feel like I’m pushing everyone away.