Happy Birthday

365 days

8760 hours

525600 minutes

Since I gave birth to you beautiful baby boys. Since the doctors tried to revive you. Since I was told that there was no heart beat for either of you. Since my entire world was turned upside down. I went to the hospital excepting to meet my two newest additions. To have a water birth. To have these two beautiful boys and my entire heart was ripped out.

I was supposed to be having a birthday party and two smash cakes and two boys trying to wobble around and getting into everything. Not mourning at two trees with their ashes.

I never imagined something like this happening. I heard about and always felt sorry for the people. And now my heart aches for them. And aches for me. I have cried at least twice a day for a year. And it has been getting harder and harder.

Happy birthday my loves, I wish I could celebrating with you. And you not being alone or with others who are in Summerland. I would do anything to be with you…. to hold you… kiss you… love you …. sing to you… I miss you more every single day….


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