Ovarian Cancer, diabetes, and all that comes with it.

About two months ago i was diagnosed with diabetes and it shook me. I mean I drank two gallons of water a day, I’m a vegan, I don’t eat junk , I work out, I teach dance, and I go to the gym. What the actual. Talk about hurt feelings. My partner has his phone set to twice a day and will take my sugar level twice a day. I woke up to him trying to do it while i was sleeping, because that won’t wake me up. Lawd.

So, about a month later i was given the news that i had ovarian cancer. This rocked me to the core. Because, I had found out I was pregnant a little while before that. So, it was basically a waiting game of how long will it take miscarry after starting radiation. My entire world was falling apart around me and there was literally nothing i could do about it. My entire body has been hurting; I’m not sure if it’s the cancer, the miscarriage, my Fibromyalgia, or what I’ve been going to physical therapy for. All I know is I’m a god damn mess and I don’t see how the hell im supposed to pick myself up.

My partner also has his phone set to three times a day to when I have to take my meds. He has been helping with the kids and there are points where I can’t even get out of bed and he will literally help me get everywhere I need to get, do everything I need to do, he’s been a non stop blessing with helping since everything has happened.

I feel like my Head is going to explode and my heart is completely broken. I don’t know what I did to have everything happening at once. But I even though I have a great support team I feel completely alone. Like no one is there for me. There is no one on my side to understand the pain and heartache I’m dealing with.

I’m over everything and just want to give up. My partner pulled me on his lap yesterday and told me he wanted to have kids with me yesterday and he was here for the long hall. But, it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting any sort of good thing with me. I’m just traumatized from everything going on. I’m over everything bad.


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