A heart shatters true

There’s been so much going on in my life that it’s been hard to write. Thorin and Tristians third birthday is coming up and that’s been weighing on me heavily. Every day it’s a constant heart ache missing them.

So, let’s start from the beginning… I got a dvpo(Restraining order)on Will. (Which he broke and ended up in jail for)It’s gotten to where he’s practically stalking and harassing my family. He’s threatened and showed up to my house and even ended up in jail over it. Going for full custody of my kids is what’s best, since the kids have been telling me how abusive he is to them. Since he was physically and mentally abusive to me I’m going to believe them.

I’m doing what I can to make my kiddos safe, they want nothing to do with him and I’ll be their voice since the court won’t listen To them. Telesforo is scared to see him and is nervous but my baby is amazing and will be okay.

I’m getting surgery so I can start ivf. I want another baby so bad it hurts. Idk if the drs will be here or in KA. I’m scared about new doctors.

Moving on, my grandmas COPD has gotten worse over the year. She ended up in ICU because her breathing and came home last night with hospice. She smiled and loved on the kids and went to sleep. I checked on her around 7 am she had passed in sleep. She had been asleep 2 hours earlier. Finding her like that was heart breaking.

My parents and kids came to mamas house and Tay asked for her not to be taken 💔😔 We sat in the room and cried together.

My aunt ended up in ICU with her not feeling well and being dehydrated. It was scary as well.

I hope next month is better to be honest. I hope the kids are heard when they say they want nothing to do with will. Timmy has been going around saying he’s not his dad because he’s mean. Tay freaks out when she hears the bass of a car. I need something to give. My kids need to feel safe. By the goddess a heart shatters true.

The goddess needs to let up, please.

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