Since I’ve held you sweet boys, kissed you, smelled you, loved on you, sang to you , ran my hands through,Thorins, hair.
People say it gets easier in time. That the heart break gets numb or it stops hurting as much. I believe that’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard. Every day I miss you, every holiday is hard, your birthdays are devastating. I should have two sweet toddlers running around tormenting their older siblings. Instead I cuddle an urn.
Instead Taylinn kisses my necklace goodnight.
Instead I cry on the floor trying to figure out why my body failed me.
Instead I take an urn outside for “fresh air”.
They say grief is a reflection of how much you loved someone…. I apparently love you boys so much that grief is an every day thing that’s not going away.
It’s an everyday struggle. I miss your chubby cheeks and your curly hair and your sweet toes and fingers. I miss you boys so much.