Four years without you

4 years
1460 days
35040 hours
2.102000000 minutes
Since I’ve held you sweet boys, kissed you, smelled you, loved on you, sang to you , ran my hands through,Thorins, hair… since Tristian was bald. I miss my boys. I miss what my life should have been. Its your fourth birthday and I still feel guilty. I want to sing to you, kiss your cheeks, smell your hair , love you. You should be tormenting your siblings. I can’t wrap my head around it. I feel like I’m in a daze.

Four years is to long to be without your child. There are names for when you lose your parents, when you lose a husband, ect. There are no names for when you lose a child. I want to be with you boys but your siblings me as well. Feeling torn apart is a constant. I wish you could be here to torment your siblings. I wish you could play with us and know how much we love you.

Thorin had such wavy hair and it makes me wonder how thick and curly it would be now, Tristan was completely bald, so I wonder if you would have hair LOL.

I don’t even have words for how much I miss you or how much I think about you. How much I wish you were here and how much it hurts thinking of how life would be.

Forgive me for failing you. Forgiving me for not fighting harder.

I Love You

Lovsnapshotsoflifeafterloss #4thbirthday #silentnomore







stillborntwins #saytheirnames






stillborn #stillbornawareness #stillbornbutstillborn #36weekspregnant #thorin #tristian #teamseymon #mamasboys #youaremysunshine #1in4 #stillbornmom


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